1/04/10...I have a friend. This friend has been on my mind alot lately. Not sure why, and to some extent I know why. I know this. Life is short and life is fleeting in this world. Anything we do, if not done for the glory of God, seems to be a waste of time. After all, once we die, it is all in vanity unless there is a treasure awaiting us in heaven. And yet our primary motivation can only be to love God with all our heart. To seek the treasure in heaven without God is a disconnect. We must love Him first before we serve Him or else I am afraid it is all in vain.
So why am I writing about this? Well, I must confess over these last 4-5 months, I have had some difficulties in my relationship with God. I am having a hard time understanding how to balance living in this world and the next. Maybe it is because I do not want to let go of this world totally. And yet I have to live here. I have to work here. Life is here and life is now. There is no escaping this fact. In some ways, I feel like hanging on to the world and still pursuing the nice car, the nice house, good vacations, and creature comforts. Even though I have sacrificed a great deal financially over these last three years, I can't say it has given me peace. I am glad I did it. Each time I have done it, I have felt joy but the joy fades. But now I feel I am approaching a crossroads of sorts, the like of which I really don't know what to do, or maybe I do not want to admit what I should do.
God gives us free will in everything we do. This much I am learning. The hard part is there is no guarantee that everything will turn out right, even when you are doing it for God's glory. Sometimes it does, sometimes it does not. The does not part is the one that is sort of discouraging.
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