1/01/10… “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12. Oh, Father, I will tell you I used to claim this passage not too long ago as I hung on. My hanging on deeply trusted you and there was no doubt. My hope was deferred. My heart was sick. However, there was joy in my serving the poor and oppressed and it seemed my life was rising above itself. Then it all started to come crashing down. I could no longer see a longing fulfilled. I could no longer see a tree of life. I lost hope.
And now I feel guilty. To think, there is a chance of moving back near my son, back to your beauty in nature, and back to dear friends. If only I had held on to the hope. But Father, I held on for sooooo long without giving up. But I just couldn’t hold on anymore. I was weak when my hope in You should have been stronger. And now I know everything will be ok, even if I do not land this job in Chilhowie. Something else will occur. I just need to hold onto hope. But it goes deeper than this. Like all relationships, they ebb and flow. You made us in Your image, so our life mimics what You want from us. You want my love, but somehow I have fallen out of love with You. It happens. And I think to myself…
Maybe, once again, we should fall in love…
No (You)
No me
(LORD) only we
Melt like sugar
Into black coffee
Our race is run
Our chase is done
No longer may we flee
Maybe we should fall in Love
So it's official now
There's nothing we can do
Now (You're) a part of me and I'm a part of (You)
And we can see how (One) and one makes more than two
Maybe we should fall in Love
Maybe We Should Fall in Love, by Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers
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