Nothing Pollinates my Soul Like You

2/16/09…All I want to do is feel You, all I want to do is hear Your voice, where are You oh my God? I shed tears because I know there is nothing else this world has to offer me other than You, nothing is like Your nectar, nothing pollinates my soul like You…You carry me away in the wind, my soul is a flutter for it is weightless in Your arms, there is no pain, no brokenness, no hurt, only love …please Father, “show me Your heart, show me Your way, show me Your glory,” …let me decrease, let You increase in my life…let me write words of unworthiness on my epitaph, and bury me deep into the red clay, returning me to the dust from which I was created…and then let Your majestic tender loving hand create a seed, and let this seed sprout from the depths of the brown mire…let it arise into a weed for on its own that is all it is...and then, and only then, from Your hope that springs eternal, let Your redemption pollinate me into a beautiful sonflower. Let me spread Your glory and Your good to every person who comes in contact with me…

Oh my Savior, how I miss You… and all I have to offer, is my devotion.

He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.

2/9/09…In Matthew 10, Jesus said, “Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven. Do not think I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.”

These are such strong words; maybe my Savior had to utter them in order to give strength to those who had to face this realization, in order for them to understand there is no black and white where He is concerned. Our Savior is to be acknowledged above all else. I never had to face this realization in my life. Most sons and daughters want to please their parents and make them proud. Imagine if you were a son or daughter and acknowledged Christ as Savior, but then were met with ridicule or scorn or even dismissal by those whom you love the most. Now what?

Jesus goes even further, into the utter depths of our souls, to confront what it means to follow Him, “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me in not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.”

I am now shedding tears, for the full onslaught of these words have crumbled me to the ground. And the words of Hillsong dance around my eardrums expressing my thankfulness, my joy, my praise, my worship, my humility, my undying love for my Savior,

Cause I know…that You’re alive

You came to face…my broken life

And I sing…to glorify

Your holy name… Jesus Christ

Truth Ever Evading

2/2/09…Jeremiah 31: 31-34 “Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant…I will put My law in their minds, and write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, says the Lord. For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”…

I ponder Your words my Father. What I find interesting is You say you will put Your law in my mind. Is this to mean you will replace man’s attempt to define law, i.e. my attempt to define You? Instead will You guide me from within regarding the law You want me to follow? All this in order to have relationship with You. Also, please help me understand what You mean when You say You will write it on my heart, because I am not sure what this means. Then You say “no more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother.” This seems to say I will know You without an intercessory on Your behalf. Is that what this means? Please help me correctly understand what You are trying to say here because this passage reaches out to me, but my mind is not grasping its full meaning or depth yet. I am trying, but I am getting a mental block.

There is some deeper truth here…some beauty I am reaching out for and not yet able to comprehend.