Paradox of Obedience

12/8/08…Father, as I pondered the paradox of obedience, You pointed me to Your passage in Matthew. Unbelievably I turned right to it as I randomly flipped the pages of Your Word and started reading the temptation of Christ three times by the Devil. What immediately struck me were the opening Words, “Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.”…What!? I say incredulously! You intentionally had Your Spirit lead Him into temptation. Why? Why would You do this to Your Son? Was there intent here? Did You deliberately want to test Him? Yes, I understand there are other meanings to this passage, but what strikes me in this moment is the intent, and the words “Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted.”

Everything Christ experienced was experienced in human form so vessels like me could relate to Him and understand His perfection even in the midst of temptation. He is my living example as a human. But I am now wondering if what the Spirit did to Him, will it do to me likewise, otherwise why bother including this story in Your Word? At times, will you be leading me into temptation? Is this truth? Is it true Your Spirit will act on Your behalf and actually!! direct me so I can be tempted? If so, that doesn’t seem quite fair. It is not like apples to apples, it is apples to oranges…Christ to Greg, ughhh, I even hate writing my name next to Your Son’s…that is apples to rotten oranges, by no means is that apples to apples. I don’t stand a chance…

And so Father, I heard Your messenger this Sunday talk of obedience, once again…but how do I reconcile this? Your messenger talks of obedience as if now that the words are uttered, his hands are wiped clean of the matter, and time to move on to the next topic…but hold on, wait a minute. Your Word dare I say, demands obedience, but You say, or is it You know, we are not going to be obedient. That is why You sent Your Son to die for me is it not? I understand grace but this paradox of obedience continues to haunt me. Father, are You not saying, be obedient, and yet You know I will not be obedient. Once again, be obedient, but You know I will not be obedient…and for good measure You may, with intent, allow temptation in my path. And since I am not Christ, You already know I will probably fail. Father, I almost have to laugh at this, it is maddening in so many ways, which I know You understand. My only hope is in You. Please forgive me. Thank You for Your Son dying on the cross for my continued disobedience. Thank You for Christmas and helping me remember it is about celebrating His birth, it is about celebrating forgiveness, and it is about celebrating an apple to a rotten orange…