4/23/12…I realized something today. Most of my life I spent putting up a wall. The wall I put up was of this world. I let no one in for a long, long time. I let myself become a shallow shell of a man, someone who was good at putting up appearances, but not letting anyone in lest they find me out. Funny thing is, I bet most people could see I was a shell with very little substance on the inside.
Shell – World
And now I have replaced one shell with another. Once God shattered my world shell and brought me to my knees acknowledging my need for Him, I have slowly without my realizing it built another shell. The shell did not happen overnight. Indeed the shell did not even start forming for 3 years. Then all of a sudden I began missing the intimacy of God. I read a blog article by John Ortberg discussing the spiritual wilderness. I remember reading a book of Mother Teresa’s memoirs. I remember a discussion by a Christian counselor. Without me knowing it, I am finding myself in a wilderness. And now the shell I am building is one of what my relationship with God use to be like versus what it actually is. What it actually is, is a shell with very little substance.
Shell – Religious
I find some ironic connection regarding going from a shell in this world to a shell in the spiritual.
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