11/9/10…Father, how quickly You sometimes speak to me. I confess to You how my motives are not as pure these days as they once were not so long ago. I confess I have not loved You with all my heart, soul, and mind. How quickly the days of China and Jackson fade. And yet…I remember. You created me to remember. Somehow You knew I needed to remember because Your love has never stopped, not once. No matter how frail I am in the realm of spiritual war, You let me remember quickly who You are. All it took was a moment on my knees in a hotel room and being honest before You. My prayer was no more than a drop of water in a lake…but I meant it.
Writing to glorify You means nothing apart from You. In my own power, my words are hollow. I could not face writing anything else apart from You. Have You not shown me who You are in these last three years. Every time I asked, You revealed in Your time. You blessed in Your time. You taught in Your time. When I began taking the reins is when Your glory began to cease within me because I was relying more on my own power. Oh, how many times will it take for me to learn. How faithful You are to still love me and endure my own selfishness. I love You.
Father, I have recently wondered whether publishing these incredibly bare blog entries was the right thing to do or not. I even wondered if my motives were as pure as they should be. But You pointed me to your son Jesus and his words in John say “the Father who dwells in me does the works.” On a night in a hotel room by myself, these were the words I needed to read. I have seen those who have accessed my blog and where they are from. I am humbled to realize people as far away as Japan, Russia, India, and many other countries have accessed this blog. And I also realize there is no power in this unless You are front and center. It is You who will point people toward You, not me. So I humbly offer all of me to You for glory only You can see come to fruition.
Writing to glorify You means nothing apart from You. In my own power, my words are hollow. I could not face writing anything else apart from You. Have You not shown me who You are in these last three years. Every time I asked, You revealed in Your time. You blessed in Your time. You taught in Your time. When I began taking the reins is when Your glory began to cease within me because I was relying more on my own power. Oh, how many times will it take for me to learn. How faithful You are to still love me and endure my own selfishness. I love You.
Father, I have recently wondered whether publishing these incredibly bare blog entries was the right thing to do or not. I even wondered if my motives were as pure as they should be. But You pointed me to your son Jesus and his words in John say “the Father who dwells in me does the works.” On a night in a hotel room by myself, these were the words I needed to read. I have seen those who have accessed my blog and where they are from. I am humbled to realize people as far away as Japan, Russia, India, and many other countries have accessed this blog. And I also realize there is no power in this unless You are front and center. It is You who will point people toward You, not me. So I humbly offer all of me to You for glory only You can see come to fruition.
For those who may be reading this blog whom I may never meet, please realize if there is a hole in your heart, or an ache, our Father in heaven may be the one who pointed You in this direction to speak to You in only a way He knows. The only hope in my world is Christ, because all other avenues I have ever tried always ended up in a hollowed out dead end. I encourage you to seek and I hope you will find life.
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