2/25/09…
I’m giving everything to God
I’m giving everything to God
I’m giving everything to God
He’s given everything to me
Desperation Band
Father, I do not feel like going down to the lonely streets of Jackson tonight. Because I feel so distant from You, I would rather spend tonight in study and prayer. And yet in some unknown way You speak to me and say go. Somehow You know time spent tonight in prayer and reading the Bible is not going to do either one of us any good. Somehow You know what is going to glorify You tonight is for me to go. So I go. But I am not happy about it. And I tell You, the only reason I am going is because you have given everything to me, so I want to give back to You. Just so You know though, I am going somewhat reluctantly and if You want to use me, well then that is up to You.
The night air is warm and humid. The streets of Jackson are the same as last week, pot holed and wrinkled from the unstable Yazoo clay. We stop at Miss Dorothy’s house on the way to our final destination, the Opportunity Center. Uncharacteristically she greets us at the door so we enter in. We deliver some food and towels and I take a seat next to her on her couch. In front of me are the butts of cigarettes, salt and pepper shakers, some type of sauce, and honestly just a whole host of stuff spread everywhere. In her cramped living room, clutter abounds. Her side of the duplex house is like all the other houses in the neighborhood; run down from the lack of maintenance, both inside and outside. Furthermore, her neighborhood is not safe. On several occasions, street prostitutes make their way over from the adjoining street asking us for food or clothing. Knowing the neighborhood is not safe, every week Bob F. makes sure he prays to God regarding Miss Dorothy and asks Him to “place a hedge of protection” around her. She is very appreciative of not only our prayers but our short time spent with her and liberally gives out “wet” kisses on the cheek upon our departure. In fact I am proud to say I have been the recipient of a few wet kisses. However it is Andre, one of our other street ministry team members, that remains her favorite. Before he even enters her house, he already knows kisses will be given freely from her. We just laugh at him and tease him to no end about this.
As we settle in, Miss Dorothy begins to share some of her troubles regarding her brother LeeRoy who is a double amputee. In some earlier conversations with Bob F., he shares when LeeRoy was younger, a run-in with law enforcement resulted in cuffs being placed on his legs. Apparently law enforcement handled LeeRoy roughly. The cuffs they placed on his legs were so tight it ended up causing an infection resulting in the need for amputating his legs. Whether this is true or not Bob is not sure but I am too fearful to ask LeeRoy directly. All I know is it has caused a lot of resentment in LeeRoy’s eyes to the world around him and this resentment seems to lash out at others at times, even with his sister Miss Dorothy. Seems lately he is directing a lot of his anger towards her. As we sit and listen to her, I realize this is a little unusual for her to unload on us like this. Clearly she has been holding it in for our arrival. As I lean in to focus on what she is saying, I feel an unusual calm fill the room. After she is done, we all hold hands and pray for her and in this moment it is clear that Miss Dorothy is comforted by our presence. It is amazing to me how 5 or 10 minutes of visitation brings comfort to someone. She tells us our short time together has done a world of good for her. And so my blasé attitude about tonight softens, and I realize just sitting there listening for 5 minutes did more glory for God than any knowledge I could have gained in hours of Bible study back at home. Thank You God…
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