Back to Reality

2/1/09… “That may be your God! But that is not my God!” The venom spews forth towards me taking me completely by surprise, and now I am humbled by the damage of words. These were words I wrote in purity and worship towards my God, but these seemingly innocent words touched an infected sore, and the reaction was to spew venom towards me. A day later my soul is still troubled. How am I supposed to use my spiritual gifts of knowledge, faith, encouragement, and creativity if this is what it can create? Would it be better for me not to write and share? I in no way want to cause this type of reaction in someone; especially when enough damage by a religion has already been done to this soul.

And now I know why there are denominational and religious lines. All of us read words, even Your Words Father, and we come up with different doctrine or different interpretations…but is this not why, or partly why? We all come from different upbringings. We all come from different pains. We all come from different experiences. This colors our perspective and not only how we see the world, but more importantly probably color the way we see You. It is so hard for us to put ourselves in other people’s shoes because we have not walked in their footsteps…so therefore we perceive we are right, really not even because of what we think is right, but just because it is all we know. What we know is all we know, nothing more. No matter how much I may desire to understand other religions or denominations, I am unable to relate because I was not brought up in the environment. In fact because there are so many different denominations out there it is almost impossible to ever learn them all; mostly because you have to feel them. Perspective is not found in a book nor is it found in one worship service. I remember someone close to me saying they once visited a Catholic church, once. And after that one visit, this person felt they now understood Catholicism. I thought, how can one understand the intricacies of the Catholic faith from one visit to a church service. Father, is it not true if we have not lived it, then how can we relate? We cannot…

So now I understand why words I wrote in purity and innocence for You to do glory can unexpectedly cause venom to spew forth…

and my heart sinks.

In your freedom I will live!!

1/31/09…Oh my God You reign! Yes You reign! Everyone look to my God, He reigns!! I love everything about You, oh everything! Forever and ever, my God You reign! Whoa, my soul, let me dance, let me spin, let me throw my arms into the air, and laugh, and sing to the top of my lungs, oh my God You reign!! There is no other who can do this to me, no other, I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh, because my joy cannot be contained!!

My eyes close, my arms rise to the sky, and I sing

In your freedom I will live!!

In your freedom I will live!!

I offer devotion!!

I offer devotion!!

Hillsong – Savior King

A Little Deeper…

1/31/09…I just do not understand and yet I do. In the New Testament, over and over again people were drawn to Jesus…why is this? In part, I believe it is because He did not judge. He welcomed all into the kingdom, no matter what their past was. Even the “dregs” of society as our world would label them came to Him. Yes, Father I understand Christ brought judgment into the world but the judgment He brought was of free will, and He, You spoke the truth in love. I hope what I am writing is truth. For those who were angered against Jesus, he represented a threat to their world of created religion. Am I speaking truth here Father? If I am, then why over 2,000 years later have we not changed? Those who carry Your name, so many of them, seem to speak the truth in judgment and not the truth in love. My heart breaks for the damage done to souls. When our faith becomes a faith of words and not action, when our faith becomes a faith of words and not love, and when our faith becomes a faith of words and not relationship, it seems it becomes hollow to the world and to You.

Judging Others

1/31/09…Your words in Matthew 7:1-5, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me remove the speck from your eye; and look a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”…Yes those who read this may say, “I do not judge.” I say there is a difference between teaching someone who God is in love versus teaching someone who God is in judgment and condemnation.

Is this not true? As soon as we say “you,” we have already crossed the line…

Is it ok to drink? Is that the right question?

1/31/09…She said, “I remember when you opened your Bible and showed me the verse that explained why we should not drink, do you remember?” I say no, I did not remember this time, but she did, and it was burned into her memory, still fresh after all these years. Yes Father, it was during this time I was spiritually struggling, trying to find answers to questions, yet having no one to show me who You were, and I was not really seeking You as much as I was hoping I might stumble into some enlightenment.

She did not understand I was grasping to reconcile a legalistic view that hinged on obedience versus one starting with relationship with You. Later in life I finally learned out of relationship comes the right obedience, one that has nothing to do with legalism, but instead is rooted in love for You.

So is it ok to drink?

I wish someone had shared this passage with me years ago…

Romans 14

1 Receive one who is weak in the faith, but not to disputes over doubtful things. 2 For one believes he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats only vegetables. 3 Let not him who eats despise him who does not eat, and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats; for God has received him. 4 Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand.

5 One person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 He who observes the day, observes it to the Lord; and he who does not observe the day, to the Lord he does not observe it. He who eats, eats to the Lord, for he gives God thanks; and he who does not eat, to the Lord he does not eat, and gives God thanks. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. 9 For to this end Christ died and rose and lived again, that He might be Lord of both the dead and the living. 10 But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. 11 For it is written:

“As I live, says the LORD,

Every knee shall bow to Me,

And every tongue shall confess to God.”

12 So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. 13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.

14 I know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself; but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. 15 Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil; 17 for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men.

19 Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are pure, but it is evil for the man who eats with offense. 21 It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak. 22 Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. 23 But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin.

Believe

1/31/09…Hebrews 11:6, “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” I take this to mean Father that if we do great and mighty and good works, and yet these things are not done in faith to honor You whom we cannot see or touch, then it is impossible to please You, no matter how much good we do. Our faith is for You, for things hoped for, for us to honor You because we acknowledge You created us to do good works to glorify You. This is what pleases You, acknowledging You in our free will, by our faith.

I think back to doubting Thomas, and Your response to him when he did not believe You had come back to life, until You had him reach out his finger to touch Your hands and Your side…You said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Father, I have not seen You, but I believe.