Paths

7/15/12…Father, thank you for this gift of connectedness. When I submit myself and open up my desire is when your Spirit within seems to bless me. I find myself joyfully relishing in those moments when I feel Your presence by the insights offered before me. I acknowledge this. I acknowledge my own intelligence is too feeble. But oh what joy when You open my eyes! Truly I feel joy in my being! These verses in Proverbs speak to me and connect…

5:21 For the ways of myself are before the eyes of my Father, and He ponders all my paths, so therefore, 3:5 trust in my Father with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding; in all my ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct my paths, because 2:10 when wisdom enters my heart, and knowledge is pleasant to my soul, discretion will preserve me; understanding will keep me, to deliver me from the way of evil, and oh for joy! 4:18 the path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day!

As my mind thinks deeper on these verses, I replace the some of the words above with these dictionary definitions:

Way is a method, plan, or means for attaining a goal; a manner or mode; a characteristic or habitual manner.

Ponder is to consider something deeply and thoroughly.

Path is a narrow walk or way.

Acknowledge is to admit to be real or true; recognize the existence, truth, or fact of; to show or express appreciation or gratitude; to recognize the authority, validity, or claims of.

Just is guided by truth, reason, justice and fairness.

As my mind finishes meditating on these passages, all I can think of is the last verse in Proverbs. Why? Because the last verse is the one Esther, a deeply committed sister in Christ I met in China, pointed out to me as her favorite…five years ago. I still remember. 

Love and Fear

7/14/12…Oh Father, as I sit here this morning, I desire Your presence. Strangely I feel so calm, reassured and peaceful. Seeking You soothes my soul. The days passing me by are restless. Within I sense a need of seeking out instruction, guidance and wisdom. Yesterday I turned to Proverbs in the hope of uncovering seeds of knowledge. I long not to stray, and certainly feel going to Your Word and connecting with those who came before me is the most sensible thing to do. Strange how thousands of years ago I seek the knowledge today’s world is unable to provide. One would think the advancement of our technological intellect would lead to a direct correlation of the advancement of our souls. Sadly though, it has not. We remain slaves to our sin and oppress ourselves. I know this. Therefore I seek the words of wisdom from Solomon, knowing before his fall, You inspired Him with thoughts of who You are, and guidance to travel well.

I pray for insight and humility, for I fear pride is my largest obstacle.

As I go through Proverbs, I realize circumstances in my life and the experiences behind me may shape how the Spirit within chooses to speak to me. As I start, this initial verse stands out to me:

1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. For some reason this verse caused me to pause before reading on. The word fear stood out to me like a monolith. I read this verse again and wonder why I am compelled to go no further. Indeed, the greatest commandment consistent throughout the Old and New Testament is to love, not fear, my Father with all my heart, soul and mind. On a personal level, the word fear brings up bad memories for me, especially from a fire and brimstone religious upbringing. So I think to myself, to even begin knowing God, I must fear Him first? Loving someone is much better than fearing someone. After all, with fear, how do I build relationship? With love, yes. With fear, hmmm. So I look up the word fear in a dictionary to try and grasp more of what this word means. What I find is this among the many definitions: fear is extreme reverence or awe, as toward a supreme power. Okay, in this context, I can better live with the word fear because I am in awe of my God, and the word reverence speaks of respect, which I desire to have for God.

Still I am not quite grasping the depth yet. Hmmm. Let me look up reverence and understand more of what this word means. The definition of reverence is a feeling of profound awe and respect and often love. I am sitting in my chair and my eyes open wider and my face moves suddenly towards the computer screen. I am somewhat dumbfounded by what I just read. Am I really seeing this correctly? Did I just read the word love? I look again at the screen and indeed yes, I just read the word love.

Somehow…the definition of fear led to the word love. 

Traveling Companions

7/1/12…As I cleaned up sticks from a severe storm today, I listened to the first of seven messages in Traveling Companions by Tom Oyler of Grace Fellowship Church. This morning’s topic was Help. There was one nugget today from Tom, “With enough time, and correct theology, most of the time in hindsight we can see where the Lord was for us.” As Tom notes, easier said than done. Why? For one, we experience pitfalls in theology interpretation. And two, our nature is evaluating God in the moment, instead of letting time be our ally. 

Indeed, sometimes time is the correct theological interpretation.