Getting Past Page 5

2/1/11…Father, as I read Genesis chapters 1-3, I am struck by one, how You made everything and two, after making Your creations, how You saw they were good. There was something You saw as inherently good in creating something from nothing. As I write these words, I find the same satisfaction. The page is blank and as I type I am creating something into existence. Yes they are only words but I thank You for given me the ability to create.

 

For Your glory I do this, not knowing if all these words I continue to write will simply return to the dust or if You will use them in a way I never could have foreseen. Once again I must expect nothing and yet in Your power expect everything.

 

Father I also am struck by how soon everything good You created turned into something it was not intended for. It only took 5 pages. I cringe at this thought. There are 2,025 pages in my Bible. On page 5, everything comes crashing to an end. What does this say about Your creations? What does this say about me?

 

Father, what were You thinking when this happened? As all knowing, You already knew on page 5 everything would come crashing down, and yet You still created us. My mind wonders why. The rest of the Bible is filled with pain, longing, and strife. Your Word is filled with doom, tales of self-destruction, and tales of sin leading to emptiness. In Your mercy, time after time You offer hope, redemption, and peace beyond the earth You placed us on. The totality of the Bible speaks of the depravity of our nature. And yet at times, there are glimpses of beauty. I am reminded of a woman in the book of Luke. In her free will she 

 

…began to wash (Your) feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed (Your) feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil.

 

Indeed. Maybe, in our free will, there is something beyond page 5. Something we do not always see in ourselves.

Priorities out of whack...

1/31/11…Something has been buggin me. Something is not quite right. Something is out of sorts. Hmmm…that something I believe is me. What happened? I suppose I could write a short book about that, but for now I think I need to address what is going on with me; my priorities are out of whack. When I put some categories down on a spreadsheet and ranked where I was currently at versus where it should be, the result was not exactly something I want to brag about;

Presently	What it should be
Work	God
TV	Marriage
House	Son
Marriage	Friends
Finances	Exercise
God	Serve
Son	Finances
Friends	Work
Serve	House
Exercise	TV

Regarding “what it should be,” I could make the case for switching exercise and friends, at least until I once again am healthy, or even moving serve up the list ahead of friends, but other than these three, I think the list of “what it should be” is fairly accurate regarding the top third, the middle third, and the bottom third. However the reality I am living in is represented by the “present” list. Even with this list, I could argue switching a couple of those around, but the bottom line is the top third, the middle third, and the bottom third are once again fairly accurate. The result is this. I am a person who is not too content most of the time, is prone to days of sullenness and pessimism, and in general is not building relationships or serving others. That’s a pretty bleak picture if I do not change. Notice I said I. I is the one who can make the decisions. I is the one who can yield to God. God is the one who will bring fruit back into my life, not me. If I continue down the path I am on, my fruit is only superficial and serves only selfish purposes, even though I may put on a real good front. But one thing I have learned over all those years of not making God numero uno is this; putting on a real good front is exhausting. It is better for me to swallow my pride, admit my failings, and ask for help, both from God and others. Only then can I begin making the correct decisions.