3/22/09…Father, I ponder this idea of service. Somehow, I feel I have come around in a circle on this matter. Oh, how my heart is on fire to serve You. However, over time I feel this idea of service has overtaken our relationship. At the end of the day, I am sure You do not want to lose relationship with me, but how do I balance this? I love writing these reflections to You and musing in who You are because writing helps me feel You in a different way. However, I must admit this sometimes substitutes for prayer and even more importantly quieting my mind and listening to You. Thus my dilemma…is this good?
Service
Writing
Prayer
Listening
Study
Do You look at these avenues equally? Father I have to assume intimacy in relationship is what You truly desire from me. Do You get this from my writing? I wonder. I do find this to be true; the closer I draw to You the more I want to serve You. Alas though there does not seem enough time in the day to do all these words I wrote above, and because of this, I sometimes feel frustrated. It feels like I have to continue to strive, and strive, and strive. I seem to be always striving for relationship and now I am also striving in service. At times I just want to be still and know You are my God. And to my mind a verse spoken by Jesus envelopes me “For my yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” I just want to rest…
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