7/15/12…Melody and I suffered paralysis for many months on end. Why? We felt Grace in Johnson City was a place to go for our spirits being lifted in worship and teaching. However, the drive is 1 hour 20 minutes. And yet, I felt a certain amount of guilt knowing there are brothers and sisters around the world who probably walk as far as this every week just to have a chance to worship. Us, we have a nice car to take us. With this said, we acknowledge even if we did attend Grace on a regular basis, being part of a meaningful community would be a challenge.
After two years and visiting many churches, we felt compelled to attend a local church. Yet week after week of good intention instead led to us waking up on Sunday mornings still paralyzed, and avoiding. However, these last two mornings of such pure desire and joy in spending time with my Father in the Bible seemed to finally break the wall down. Once again we woke up late after sleeping 11 hours! Yes, the time was 9:15 and the service started at 9:50. When Melody realized this she broke into tears and my heart suddenly became tender towards her. I encouraged her and said we could still attend the 11:00 service. She mentioned maybe we could skip the service and go to Sunday school. The word Sunday school still causes the hair on my neck to bristle as the words have a deeper connotation of mixed emotion from my past. Her earlier tears though I could not deny. I waffled enough not to discourage, but enough to give us both an out, just in case.
On our way, a train delays us, we seem to hit every traffic light, and we have no idea where we are going. I am a little anxious as meeting new people sometimes is draining for an introvert, not to mention knowing how once again, I will have to embrace honesty in my walk, i.e. failings, if I desire to spiritually grow.
Yet somehow later in the morning I find myself sitting on a couch in front of a small group of Christians, in community. And a sense of belonging suddenly washes over me.
I feel compelled to acknowledge my Father in all this.
