12/29/11…
Christ speaks in Matthew:
34 “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. 35 For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; 36 and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ 37 He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. 38 And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. 39 He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
Christ, my Lord, the relationships you mention above are the closest ones we have in a family: a father, a son, a mother, and a daughter. My Lord you know my desire to be all in for you once again, to indeed love you with all my heart, soul, and mind. And yet over this last year I have had difficulty figuring out how to do this within my marriage. As a single person, it was so easy to spend time with You whenever I wanted, and no distractions of anyone were around. I could spend 10 minutes with You or hours with You. I loved the freedom in being able to do this. But now in marriage I find this is not so easy to do. Maybe this is what Paul meant when he let me know as a single person it would be much easier to directly serve You, but in marriage, a new dynamic happens between us. I must love my wife as You loved the church. To do this means bringing glory to Your name. However, how did You love the church? What are the real depths of this meaning? How can I view doing good for my wife as glorifying You, and not be tempted to be looking outward more first, as if nothing counts unless doing good happens outside the home. Ah, I see once again, a paradigm shift must occur. Slowly I have felt You working in me in regards to this matter, and it seems as in all seasons, You seem to be patient. Your patience gives me time to come to realizations, and You insert thoughts here and there, and cross my paths with circumstances all at the right time until You guide my soul accordingly.
I hope I am close.
